Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Hey Kids! Wanna Kill People For Real?

Tired of Mortal Kombat 7 already?
Well now you can leave high school and join the elite team flying the US Drone Programme.
Within months you can go from killing pixels to killing people. Really.
But it's like gaming! And you get paid for it!

Next time you see an explosion, you know that it's for real, with instant replay to see the limbs being blasted off and the blood spilling.
But it's not a chamber of horrors, and the innocent people who die (we think only 25% of the casualties are innocent, the rest are all suspects) probably deserved it for being in the wrong place.
Their homes! Ha!
No, but honestly, there's absolutely no risk! You don't even need to go overseas. Or understand anything. Or anything.
And you absolutely will not be a murdering coward, killing people in their beds without taking any risks whatsoever. No.
You'll be a respected member of the US Armed Forces, the biggest and best Armed Forces in the world, the Armed Forces that are going places. Meeting interesting people. And killing them.
And you'll be bringing freedom to people who despise you as cowards and hate you for being murdering bullies, so you'll win every battle and lose the war.
And hey, as long as they reject our sort of freedom, we'll just tell you to kill some more.
And when you look in a mirror a few years later and see yourself, we'll provide limited medical assistance and counselling for your impending insanity.
But hey! If you make it through that, there are plenty of opportunities and subcontracts for people who say and do the right things!
And at the end of the day: you were only obeying orders.

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